30 going on 75

Odds are that after a long work week and on a Friday night, you’re ready to sit back, relax with some wine and forget about all of your cares. However, this one particular Friday, you decide that a date may be in order. After all, you’ve spent the last few Friday nights in front of your TV and the hottest date you’ve bagged is the pizza delivery guy, who now knows your name.

The guy you’re going out with is cute. Tall, dark and handsome. Not overly fit or a gym rat but his personality makes up for it.

You head home after work to get ready. It’s still cold out, because mother nature is a dick and made it snow in APRIL! You put on a cute bodysuit, pair of high waist jeans, and heels. Your hair is done, makeup on point and you’re super cute.

The plan is to meet at the movies and then go for a late dinner afterwards. It’s a little backwards but you agree.

You arrive at the theatre, enter the lobby and he’s waiting for you. A quick hug will do upon greeting. As you turn to walk towards the counter for snacks, you notice his eyes are locked on your rear end. Heck yeah, it should be! You’ve been putting in crazy hours at the gym so the squats better pay off! You both get your snacks and enter the theatre. The movie begins and you sit quietly watching.

It’s halfway through the movie and you noticed that he hasn’t tried to touch you, talk to you, make a smart remark concerning the movie or even giggle. You look over and what do you find? HE’S ASLEEP!!!! He’s fucking asleep?!?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!

Thoughts flood your brain. Are you that boring? Is the movie that boring? Does he just not want to be on the date? Why even ask me out? Why bother with the entire date? Do you stay? Do you leave? Do you wake him up? OMG he’s drooling! For Fuck sake’s he’s DROOLING!!!! He’s supposed to be 30 not a senior citizen, WAKE THE FUCK UP!!

You compose yourself and thoughts and slowly get up from your seat. You don’t want to leave because you’re enjoying the movie, so you lightly move seats to one on the other side of the theatre. You finish watching the movie and just before the credits start to roll, you make your way out of the theatre and head back to your car.

There is no way any man is going to fall asleep on you, on the very first date and get away with it. You leave him in the theatre to wake up alone (whenever that happens of course).

You arrive home and find a text message from Sleepy dwarf; “Hey, where did you go? I thought we were going out for dinner”. You kindly reply; ” You seemed to be very tired and sleeping through the movie. I wouldn’t want you falling asleep while eating. That’s a hazard. It’s a no for me”.

You turn your notifications off, change into some comfortable clothes and call the only dependable man you’ve met in weeks. It’s pizza and dessert time. As you’re waiting for the pizza to arrive, you remember that you’ve made delicious baked apples. You might as well eat dessert before dinner, since this entire night has been backwards

Fridays are for staying in.



8 Apples ( Gala apples work best)

8 Tablespoons of butter (Separated in half for apples and topping)

1/2 Cup of light brown sugar (separated into 1/4 cups for apples and topping)

1 Teaspoon of ground cinnamon (separated into 1/2 measurements for apples and toppings)

1/2 Cup of all purpose flour

1/4 cup of Oats

Method to the Madness

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. In a large bowl, combine flour, oats, brown sugar (1/4 cup), and cinnamon (1/2 tsp).
  3. Add butter and mix until crumbly. Set aside.
  4. Peel and chop 2 apples.
  5. In a saucepan, add chopped apples, butter, brown sugar and cinnamon.
  6. Stir over medium heat until apples are tender.
  7. Cut tops off of remaining apples.
  8. Scoop out flesh of apples (enough to make a bowl).
  9. Foll scooped apples with warm apple filling.
  10. Top apples with oat mixture.
  11. Bake apples for 10-15 minutes.
  12. Serve with ice cream and caramel.
  13. ENJOY!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s